Baby Daddy

If you take sometime and listen to the true stories of young mothers and young fathers as well, you will either come out with heartbreaking emotions or shed tears based on how beautiful the stories were.

Sometimes the baby daddies run away with their imaginary tails tucked nice and neat in between their legs (pardon me, I do not see how best a man can run away from his God given duties). Later on however a great percentage of them run back in the same way but this time round with the positive energy of making things right and they  seem to move heaven and earth to make things work, trying to recover for lost time.

Some who come back for all the wrong reasons perhaps just to have someone they can have on a beck and call in the name of ‘I love you’ would retreat back to their former position once they notice they are not getting what they came for and they are tired of making sacrifices for their own blood once a challenge appears on the table or sometimes when no challenge appears on the table. Mayday!! Mayday!! MAYDAY!!!




Sometime back a young mother called me up and all she wanted was advice because her baby daddy wanted the both of them back. He said he is sorry for all he had done and to prove he is indeed serious, he shall come with his elder uncles and his father to their home two weeks from that time they were talking. She then gave me a quick background on her story with this man. After finding out they were pregnant, he said he wanted to live his life for he was still young (seems she was not young herself), he did not want to be a father, he had his own life ahead of him and dreams to achieve. Blah blah blah and all he said to justify himself. After the birth of their son, she called him up and he promised how he was going to come to hospital the next day, but he never showed up. His sisters seeing how their nephew resembled their brother (through Instagram pictures of course) found her number and called her up wanting to see the baby. They came home days later unaccompanied by the dream chaser and they seemed extremely happy to see their nephew. Their parents however did not want to be a part of it for the YOUNG man seemed to have convinced them that, that is not his son. It seemed to her that to some people blood is LIGHTER than water. However the sisters would occasionally pop in to see the child and his mother but always seemed to say the complete opposite of what they would say at home. Therefore, for she did not want any more pain she decided to request them to stay on their side of the ‘battle’ until they decide to be honest with her. That was a long time ago, now the baby is a year and three months and he wants to come back. Not sure whether he has achieved all his dreams now, did not bother asking.



I took hours to think about it as I tried to fit in her shoes and choose one side. To decline or to accept this proposal? My mind quickly went through the events of my own story and I decided to give me more time to think on what to tell her least I misguide her, so I called her up and told her to give me more time to analyse her situation and if she feels there is anything she left out, she should tell me for it will help me come up with a more valid conclusion.

I know of scenarios where the man then decides to come back and a year or so later, truth has it they have another baby and again he runs leaving you out in the cold. Others hold on to their baby daddies even when they treat them with disrespect just so the child can grow in the same house with both their parents. I could give scenarios on end. Others would call and text them ever single day and it seems to hurt when they decide not to reply to the text messages or to call back when they find a missed call. When they meet them randomly on the streets or at mutual friends’ parties, they cause a scene so that people may understand how bad the man is, forgetting they are too beautiful for such thus I could scream using an amplifier and tell her not to go back to such a man for it might cause her more pain and frustrations or I could tell her all the more reasons why she should go back because now he seemed to have reformed but sometimes the advice we would want to hear is usually lying somewhere within us. If your baby daddy comes back and is serious about it; that is his heart, actions and thoughts are in sync about this decision then FOLLOW YOUR HEART! At the end of the day are you happy? Is he happy? Most importantly is your bundle of joy happy?


So I picked up the phone and asked her what she wanted first and then slowly repeated everything I have said above including her own story that she shared with me, I could feel her smile as we talked and she then said she now knew exactly what to do.



Follow your heart ladies, most times it is not as hard as we make it sound


  • Monica Gathoni

    Hey,so you know the guys of our generation are kinda immature and they are, most of the time, not in their right senses, but they are our men right? Though we deserve better.Anyways, all I wanted to say was that you could tell your friend that ‘Time will tell’ and that ‘Actions speak louder than words’ in that, he might be saying he wants them back and he might sound serious but what makes you soo sure he’ll stick around forever. Don’t show desperation and just accept him blindly because you need him soo much, you were doing fine before he came around apologizing. Allow time to help you make a very important decision for your child, take note of his actions for a period of time then you can make your decision. When all you can see in him is that it’s a burden to him, then there’s no need for him to stay around. But if they click together and they seem inseperable , then it’s fine to let him in in his child’s life. With regards to you two now, it’s upto you guys to figure it out if you still love each other or the love is no longer there and you are only in this for the baby, you can end up being great friends eventually. Anyways, that’s my opinion, it would be nice if you commented on it.

  • Hey Monica,

    I totally agree with you on the point of having time reveal everything, it always does.

    Believing in the policy that if your mind and heart are not in sync in any decision and you have doubts about a certain decision then you should not act on it. leave it later on for future when you feel this is truly what you want. This is the policy i used to make my decision for so many things seemed not to add up so it was better not to put myself in a situation I will regret months down the line.

    Sometimes though we want to make it so hard and want to force things to work even when every vein in us is screaming don’t!!

    And waaaay true, if he comes around and he is serious you will see from the reflection of his actions.

  • I will be harsh and honest here. This scenario is becoming way too common in our society! Why are all these men running away from their responsibility?!
    Indeed it is a tough decision to make!However, I think that if the man could leave her once there is no reason for him not to leave again. He even had the nerve to say that that was not his child. That does not sound like a good father to me! His guilt may have led him a step in the right direction but that just shows his intention to be there. Unfortunately, INTENTION IS NOT ENOUGH! He needs to do a lot more before she accepts him back to her child’s life, otherwise he may be the cause of great pain in that child’s life.

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