I pray your week is going on well. Welcome back to our blog. 🙂
If you missed part one of the baby talk with Enam, Here it is, been forever since I finished this story. Decided to finish all the part two’s and threes of some of the blog posts before I stop blogging for a while.
Learn, Enam: It was still tough being pregnant for her even though she was extremely blessed and got an amazing support system where our entire family was supportive of us. They shopped and did everything for us, because my grand mother would travel a lot, we would stay with my grand aunties. We would spend a week with one, the next with another, all of which took care of us and encouraged her.
Chiiwo: Beautiful! I am more than glad that it turned out well for you guys, super glad! Good stuff! Did she decide to continue with schooling after finding out she was pregnant if you had to move from one grand aunt to the next?
Enam: Thank you Chiiwo. Yea, mum went to school six months pregnant but it seemed so strenuous and difficult for her. She had anaemia and would get home super exhausted plus she was not happy, she wanted change of friends. She deferred weeks later and just stayed at home, taking care of herself and preparing for me to finally see mother earth.
Chiiwo: You! Mother earth again? What English is this?
Enam: lol, ignoring you right now 😀 in some ways all that idle time was not good for her because she would always think about things she was not meant to think about for she would get depressed again. But I am glad she found God at that time because He kept her strong and sane. *looking up* Thank you Jesus!
Chiiwo: When were you born, I heard they take our kilograms as well. How was I 3.2kgs and one day we will be hitting the gym with ninety something kilograms yet we were born with 3kgs. 3!! That is not even meat enough to feed twenty people.
Enam: Ha-ha! We have to start from somewhere, I was 4.1 kilograms and my birthday is February 4th. I understand I was late by two weeks though, I would have been born earlier. The amazing thing was that I was born naturally; I don’t even know how she was able to do so. The doctors perhaps would have opted for a caesarean but team strong mama.
Enam: She is one proud mother; sometimes she just shouts from the kitchen, I am proud of you Enam! I am so proud of you! Above all, she says we should put God the centre of our lives because with God by our side everything works out fine. Look at us man you are one year and two months and here I am almost one year. We have come this far.
Chiiwo: Our mothers met in a rather interesting way, do you know the story?
Enam: No, do share. She has never told me but I know they have become very great friends. I remember one of her last blog posts for the end of last year she said, “I dropped the fake friends, met new and amazing friends, met really inspiring people and named your mother as one of them.
Chiiwo: My mother started a blog-website some few months ago named Amira Africa that deals with the elevation and motivation of young mothers be it you are in a relationship or not but she mainly focuses on those who are single so after her first blog post a mutual friend of hers and your mum’s introduced them together and from then they are always meeting up. I understand your mother started a similar thing before as well, Nilibeba yea? Tell me about that.
Enam: Nilibeba is more or less the same thing actually just same script different name. She choose the name Nilibeba which is Swahili that has a tagline to accept, nurture and surmount. It is a platform for young women who mastered their strength to accept the greatest challenge that is early pregnancy. The Nilibeba foundation walks hand in hand with these strong mamas from pregnancy onward giving them the encouragement and any assistance that they need. It aspires to have counselling programs as well, a day care facility and a forum for young fathers.
Chiiwo: I am proud of these women for sure, I truly am. I wish them all the best in this journey as they help other women.
Enam: Double tap that statement man Chiiwo.
Enam: My mother’s biggest regret was that she did not love herself when she was pregnant. She always tried to convince people how she was alright that she seemed to forget to be alright. She likes to tell young mothers “if you do not own your pregnancy, no one will truly see the beauty in it. Your glow will all be wasted but now all I can do is not regret but learn from it.” She hated being pregnant, hated herself and was forever heartbroken and shattered unlike what the people around us thought. So many a times she felt unworthy to have an absolute best support system anyone could ask for. Ashamed to apologize to her true friends for always pushing them away, I guess it was the guilt and embarrassment.
Enam: A while back I heard our mothers talking and your mother was talking about her past relationship with your father, one of the things she said was you were conceived out of love, she seemed to have loved your father back then. She said you are her best buddy.
Chiiwo: But aren’t we all conceived out of love? The thing is the young mothers are usually mostly in steady relationships with our fathers but after the delivery of the news of the pregnancy things fall apart, some of them deny us knowing very well he is the only person she has been intimate with, and it basically goes down hill from there. Is yours different? From the way you sound it is like it will be a different kind of vibe.
Enam: Well yes kind of, for her she says that will not be my story. She seems to not know what she will tell me when I am ready and asking about the man that fathered me. In her words, “Oh you know, I liked meaningless sex, I was a bit wild then and the truth is all I knew about your dad was his name.” she is scared that I and anyone else would never hold her in the same regard again, she wishes she knew God then like she knows Him now.
Chiiwo: Our past doesn’t define us, and who are we to talk about the spec in our neighbours eyes when we have logs in ours? There is a quote my mummy loves, ‘just because I sin differently from you doesn’t give you a right to judge me’. Everyone has their faults, we are ALL human!
Enam: True, there are days when the thoughts of miscarriages would excite her and she would dream about how beautiful it would be to die and she would pray days on end for this. The beauty of life is God had a purpose for her and I and he refused to take us from this life. So He let her pains and shame go away and all those chains that bound her were set free. All things happen for a great reason.
Miss Kioi: Here I am, still alive, happier now, letting God work through Enam and I so we can achieve what he purposed us to do. Life journey. And how I am glad. I can’t imagine if I did not have Enam. I am so excited because my baby is about to turn one. Count down begins! It is so incredible being his mother, my greatest accomplishment. As this life journey continues I hope I raise a grand man. A man after God’s word.
To young mothers out there: I think the fact that we are women means we have in us strength that is immeasurable. We never know it until the hardships of life force us to bring it out. You found out that you are pregnant and everything is bleak, worry not. You are a single mother and everyone including myself tells you it will get better with time and you just do not believe it. Take things as they are, a day at a time and know that God gives you only that which you can handle. Have faith, pray and let God. It will be just fine your baby is your greatest treasure and blessing. So sit back and relax because the flood gates of heaven are about to let it rain on you.
Enam: Before you leave milk shots on me? Two for the road!
Chiiwo: Two for the road it is! Ha-ha. But first my shades, lol.