It has been such a long while before I was seen around these streets, so much happenings, I feel like someone should have warned me about these fourth year life and the stress that comes with it and the toll it takes on someone when they are growing their passion on the daily. Amira is growing at a force greater than myself and the other stuff has put me away from writing, so today I have to remove this writer’s block and do something. I have missed sharing my thoughts and lessons with you all. I hope the post makes sense eventually. I don’t even know amidst the ‘fast’ life in the past few months or almost the whole of 2016. I have realised one thing, I have wasted quite a lot of time on the ‘wrong’ things and people; spent so much energy chasing or thinking about factors that truly are beyond me and irrelevant to my life, but I did it unknowingly anyway until I discovered just the other day.
If I was to die today, and I was given an opportunity to say what I feel I should have done better if given another chance: It would probably be to allocate ALL my time to things and people that mean the heavens to me. I know this makes me sound like someone who completely spends her time on valueless things or people maybe but part of the therapy I do on the daily with ‘Pedro’ is: I get to talk about things, situations and people in my life on the constant, sometimes strangers and how they made me feel or how I made them feel. What came out of most encounters with all these. What stories I get to hear that break my spirit or build it so as to be able to deal or focus on them to bring more love and light to others and myself. I allocate my time to stuff that are valuable but there are many days or hours in a day that just go like that and I find that I have done nothing meaningful really.
I wanted to get married at 25 years, not far but almost now and I have engaged ‘men’ who honestly there is no future for us, you can tell by the way they even carry themselves but we women are so hopeful, hehe or maybe optimistic that eventually he will match the unwritten list you have in your head and when the one who matches the list comes by, you miss him because you were focused on a moment in time than a lifetime. Though every time I get close to dating them, something comes up so I don’t end up even starting the journey. The thing is to grow to be who you are and to discover yourself then you must be mean with your time, spend every microsecond on activities and people that you care about. Do not waste your time with those that don’t add value and vice versa and ruin your grand blue print to the life you want/need. Time to see if i can get the “25 bracket” train at the next stop 🙂 I found him now. Wierd how we didn’t see it sooner..
I am glad “Pedro” is shedding light each day, or as he puts it; his work is to listen as I talk about all that out loud and in the process, I am able to discover it all by myself. So I am shedding light to myself by myself, lol learning the art of asking for clarity in matters I don’t understand with an open mind and a peaceful spirit; so that after that I can focus on bringing light and love or dealing with the situation as I would have expected someone else to deal with it. After all: we have so much to lose and that is time, which is a great factor. In the end not to have regrets on the time factor.