Chiiwo’s Lessons For His Mother

A week ago my son turned one year and I have never felt so happy in my life. I woke up early that morning and thought about taking a bucket full of water and maybe mix it with flour and wait for him to turn in his sleep then splllaaash comes the water on his face. Then as he wakes up shocked, I will probably have a song ready and sing to so loudly to wake up everyone. Those were rumours Fi, rumours!! Or just perhaps valid dreams ey? You can not do that to a one year old baby. Talk about authorities who will hunt me down for child abuse or attempted murder. Instead I held him in my hands for thirty minutes and I prayed for him, I thanked God for this wonderful blessing in my life and all the good things he has brought my way. After which even though he was asleep I talked to him about all the things he has taught me and all the reasons I would not trade him for another.I will share some of the lessons motherhood has taught me, lessons my baby has taught me in three or four parts. Here is the first one.

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Prayer is very important. As a mother I find that I pray over everything unlike before. In prayer and supplication make your needs known to God and at the right time, he will fulfil the desires of your heart. In 2013, I had no idea what the future had in store for me and because talking to people was not one of my favourite activities at that time I entered into moods of prayer so many times. I would pray for my baby as I am walking. I knew that there was a greater being in control. So I was just going to trust him. Looking back now I would not want to change a thing in that journey and prayer to renew my strength every day has made me a better person. Here is the thing though. Sometimes I tried to talk to someone but I would always feel that they do not understand me, so at that point is when I decided, hey! There is someone who is way better that the rest that you keep on forgetting. The beauty of prayer is that after that conversation you feel so good and more charged to continue with the days to come even though it is like you have a blind fold on and can’t see where you are stepping but you just know all is working out for good.

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You should sleep on one side of the bed. I was those people who will pull the sheets and blankets occasionally on my side and leave the other person freezing all through the night. During sleepovers I noticed my girlfriends will either give me a separate small mattress or let me sleep at the edge. Just in case I move. Haha! Now that I think of it. These days I wake up on the side that I sleep on and if I do not, during the night I would wake up, switch on the lights, move baby Chiiwo and then sleep on the other side. Which I figured was just too much work, so I had to learn to sleep on one side. I remember when we brought him home from hospital; my mother would run into the room afraid that I had slept on the baby during the night. So she started by putting big pillows between us so that when I move I will feel them and stop in my tracks but then again the pillows were soft but anyway…. Now you can invite me for sleep overs.

 

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I had a man brain in this sense, I just was unable to multitask. I am still learning to do so until now but I can say I am getting better at it for sure. I feel that they lied to us when they said all ladies can multi task. I am those people who when you talk to me and am messaging, I will probably not get a word you are saying. It basically confuses me to have to listen to loud music and text. Ah! Too much work! Now I have to change diapers and answer a call at the same time without wrapping the child with the same diaper that I just removed from his body. I can be breastfeeding and reading for my examinations. Though be warned it is not good to breastfeed while doing other things, it is baby and mother bonding time.

 

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I was an inpatient person. I don’t get how someone will make me wait for hours or just will not meet a deadline. I mean if you said one week, one week should do, for I believe if more time was needed one would have said so. Basically I would just allow like a five minute allowance. Time is money people, we just can’t afford to waste it. I know a baby is meant to take nine months in the mother’s womb but I was in such a hurry to give birth. I prayed I will give birth early, then there was this particular time the doctor said that my baby’s birth date is now 25th December. Whaat!! That is just too far. So when baby was born on 6th , I was like joke on you sir! Joke on you! J Sometimes babies just want to cry, he is full, dry and not sick nor sleepy but he still wants to cry. So if you are not patient, you will not be able to hack it. You keep calm once again and take your time to make sure they are calm as well. Other times he wants to eat few spoons of food for hours and hours and you have school work as well.During labor I said to myself, ‘I am just going to push and push until he is out, I mean that is how it works right?’, then the nurse must have noticed at some point and told me ‘ mum, please only push when there are contractions, okay? Hakuna haraka (no hurry’ uhhhhmm okay. 🙂 Though now I can await someone for sometime, but do not push it people, lest you awaken the impatient person in me once again.

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Count your blessings and name them one by one. So many a times the lord gives us something and we do not give thanks for it instead we focus so much on what he seems not to have given us. In so many instances I was alone in baby’s things, in the hospital, during his dedication and many others and I focused so much on why specific persons were not with me. I forgot that my whole family, my true friends were there to walk with me and support me in all of the small celebrations and joys. I decided to give thanks for what I have been given. Another thing, very many parents take for granted is the fact of having a normal baby, with the rise of special children cases in the world today, it is a blessing to have a ‘normal’ baby and it is something one should thank God for. Others do not have the pleasure of carrying their baby to full term and just hearing them cry and laugh. It is a blessing to be able to provide for your child as well. How about from now on we focus on all that the Lord has given to us however small you may think it is. For you to appreciate the bigger things in life, start by appreciating the small things. Like the fact that you can smile genuinely in a day or laugh out loud from the bottom of your heart.

Count your blessings, name them one by one.

Count your blessings see what God has done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

 

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Follow your heart mummy. Sometimes I feel as if baby is saying that to me. I have always wanted to start Amira Africa from 2013 with the sole purpose of elevating young mothers emotionally, socially and financially and just to encourage them to run their race and not to lose hope in life. So I sat down one day and brainstormed, wrote down all that I wanted to do with this particular organization. Though every time I wanted to start it, I would feel discouraged, tell myself: I will await I give birth, I will await for the baby to grow up, I do not have enough money to carry out the projects and so on. Then one day I opened up my diary and I saw the Amira dream once again and I thought of all the ladies who I just talk to over the phone and that one lady who I encouraged to keep her baby and I looked at my son and it hit me, for them we must never lose hope, for them we must be better than we were yesterday, for them we must follow our hearts, we must be who we were called out to be. So I decided that I was going to turn my experiences into lessons and inspirations for the young mothers in Africa. I remember this particular time my elder brother said to me, “you have the heart and the ambition to do this, money should never be a constraint, follow your heart Fi, you will carry out all your projects all in due time. I believe in you”Exactly four months later after I started Amira Africa it led me to having sat with dignitaries at a launch following a project I was doing, the President himself and his lovely wife had sat at the front row and Ms.Kioi and I had sat on the third row from the front, and I asked myself, why did I not start earlier? For now this dream I had looked so real I was teary for quite a long time. That is a story for another day though.

 

 

[To be continued…]
  • esther

    aw sigh #tears. those lessons are very true n i totally have learned them as well. Congrats for the fruits of ur work. aluta continua my dear.
    *alafu, LOL, ive never noticed that pink tshirt of Chiiwo’s says “ipoo’d” hahaha* #goodstuff

    • Esther,
      Ahsante! I am cool like that, lol! When i spotted the shirt i just could not leave it behind. hahaha!

  • angie

    :-)..Am so proud of you Okadia:-)..one in a milli!!!

  • winnie phoebe

    Am proud of you Fi..you such a wonderful mother.Chiwo is a lucky kid

    • Thank you Winnie, 🙂
      I am lucky as well to have him in my life.
      oh and p.s it is Chiiwo :*

  • Patricia

    Oh dear this is so touching! You are a wonderful mother. May the lessons keep coming and may you keep sharing them with the world!

    • Thank you Andago 🙂
      I will do exactly that.

  • Cathie

    I’ve learnt something as well..thanks fi for sharing..

    • You are welcome our Tanzanian ambassador 🙂

  • caren Mkawasi

    msichana. ..wait…Mother! I cam totally relate to this..the multitasking. .the praying. soo true. ..
    feels good to know am not experiencing this alone! !

    • Hahaha eti waiit!!

      you are never alone Caren 😉

  • So I comment late but oh what the heck. I love this post, I love you & I love Chiiwo. And your wisdom, motherhood is the greastest gift, & you’re a good mother. True, prayer should be the center of one’s life, and we deducate that lively boy to God. May He walk with Chiiwo every single day of his life, every step, always guide & protect him.

    • we love you too! 😀
      ♡♥

      thank you!

      Amen to that!

  • kili

    nice article. good progress dear

  • Ocampo

    Great article. Insightful into what young mothers go through 🙂 keep praying!!

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