Dear Teko: Part 1

Dear Teko,

When you are twenty years old and find out that you are pregnant, the first thing that goes through your mind is denial.

At least that is what happened to me. I saw the dreams that I had set for myself crush right before me and the disappointment that would be in both my parents eyes when they got to hear the news from me. I just wasn’t sure if I could stand their facial expressions  after they had raised me to be pure and to walk in a Godly manner. I really did not care what my friends would think at that point; all that ran through my mind were  my parents. It was more of the shame I had brought to them. Not for a second did I think of myself. I thought maybe my uncle who loved to wear red had missed to visit me because of the change in climate or the change in food, but not pregnancy.

It is really quite funny now that I think of it, my baby father occasionally would tell me that I was pregnant because of my change in behaviour and I was easily irritated but I would brush it off. And one day he sat me down asking me what if I was expecting a baby and he went on and on about what we should do and how we will raise the baby. Of course I did not pay much attention that day because I was really not interested in such talks. So I decided that since he seemed to be convinced I was with child,I would test his support. I arranged a meeting with him and my eldest brother, where he claimed that he would take full responsibility of the child. (If I was an animal I guess I would be an eagle for it is a habit, I test people before I trust them.) I remember him asking me if I thought a baby was a pair of new shoes because I was taking it as a joke. But you see it was not in my head that I would be the mother of his first born son in eight months. So we agreed that I would take the pregnancy test the next day. I agreed so fast for as you know by now it was the last thing on my mind. You should have seen my face when I saw two lines on that paper, all my machoness (not sure if that is a word) ran out of the door like that. Whooooosh!!

We then decided to walk around in Karen, where we had taken the tests. I was not sure I was ready to go home. Meanwhile, he was busy making promises to me and our unborn child. Thoughts were running through my mind. I just wanted to disappear or perhaps go back in time. I was sooo confused, my eyes were hot and I just wanted to cry! I was going to stop my education, what if he abandoned me to do this alone? Ah! My life was over! Though he went on and on, offering me assuarance, it did not help much at the moment. He decided to take me to get some bites hoping that it would help me to calm down. They say there is something about food and moods, but on this day it did not help me at all.

I have always been the one to tell my friends not to abort and as if the universe was now testing my strength it put me in the same situation. I told myself though, if the Lord did not want this baby to live I would get a miscarriage, but abortion was not an option. That evening when I got home I went straight to my room, locked it and wept myself to sleep like a little child, the words of my boyfriend in my mind (“I will never leave you alone in this, we are together. I love you so much! Do not do anything stupid to our child!”). At least I had his support and love, it made it a bit easier for me.

I choose life!!

#teko

#runyourrace

For those who want to share their motherhood experiences drop us an email in amiraafrica@gmail.com.

P.S: You are amazing:)

  • I love this! And the fact that I am 20 makes it even more relatable!
    Looking forward to more posts! :”)

    • thankyou very much maryanne 🙂 🙂

      il try post one on “teko” every week..

      feel free to subscribe:)

  • P.S Also check out this blog ——> http://missindependent.co.ke/
    She’s also Pro-life 🙂

    • checking it in a few minutes 🙂

    • Thank You Maryanne for sharing my blog.

      Amira Africa…I’m getting to know of your blog today. Am looking forward to what you have in store for us in the future.

      Miss I

      • to change Africa for the better and what best way than to touch on the smallest unit of society which is the family? .
        our mothers!

        thankyou for taking your time to read it.

  • Claire Kinyanjui

    Thank you for sharing your story! Very inspiring.

    • and thank you for reading it claire 🙂

      #teko

  • Patricia

    this is so true so raw so real. i had to take a step back and let the emotions that were running through you wash over me. it is not easy to go through and believe me you have given a shred of hope to a young girl that did not see a way out. i applaud your courage. you are My fearless Inspiration…anyday!

  • Kinya Elizabeth

    Finally subscribed!!! And its the 6th day today…which means another Teko post tommorrow yaaay!

    • ahsante 🙂

      hahaha was actually from writing it. just need to edit it then i post it.

  • Dinah

    Am in love…

  • that is so touching..am hoping to read more on your journey o motherhood so that i can also get inspired have my own baby

  • Phennah Ogollah

    nice piece Fifi

  • okasungora

    🙂

  • Beryl Amattah

    Great read dear. I admire your strength and thank you for choosing life despite the odds!!:):)

  • Pingback: The Leaders of the Pride | Amira Africa()

  • Diana

    it’s such a post and many previously written that have got me this 28weeks far in my pregnancy. and am just 20….that age seems pretty young.i once thought ‘i am too young to be a mum’ but I guess one is ready to be one the second she decides to choose life,right?
    thanks AmiraAfrica for really encouraging me n many others.

Powered by themekiller.com anime4online.com animextoon.com apk4phone.com tengag.com moviekillers.com