Don’t Say That

The other day my friend got a baby and after talking for hours we found ourselves venting at all the different things people tell you when you are a new mother.

Here is a list of some of the questions you must not ask or statements you mustn’t say:

1. Are you tired? For sure she is. It takes months for some mothers to adapt to this new phase in life where you wake up at odd hours and you stay up for a very long time. Usually it is advisable to even give her some weeks or so before actually going to visit them. Even if they do not give you a rude answer some of them wonder if it is not evident that you see they are tired when you are asking this question.

2. Your baby does not look like you, he looks like the father. I know, that is usually my answer to this. I mean is he not his father as well. It takes two to make a baby. Right?

3. Why is his or her head unstable? Is there anything wrong with him? All babies necks are not strong enough and besides no mother would want to hear that there is anything wrong with their child so if you notice something that you think is wrong, do not ask. Just let the mother have her time, please.


4. “What has your mother done to you?” Though this is usually more indirectly when someone hears the baby cries. Like seriously, first the baby does not understand your language at this point. Second a sound mother will not hurt her new born baby willingly.

5. When is baby number two coming? [NO COMMENT]

6. So when will you loose the baby fat? She just gave birth, give her time.Some loose the baby fat faster than others. No need to stress her at this point in time.

7. Do this, do that. It is funny how people who do not even have children will often tell you what to do and what not to do. Motherhood is an experience of a lifetime and most of the time one will learn by actually doing it. Trust me, she will not hurt her child. So before you dish out all this do’s and dont’s give her,her breathing space. She will be just fine.

8. If you are already a mother, do not compare your child with your friends baby and say things like, “My baby never woke up in the middle of the night or my baby never had colic” All babies are different. You do not want the new mom feeling like she made a mistake. Besides i do not think she wants to hear how imperfect her child is.


Feel free to add some more things not to tell new mothers 🙂

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