..so sometimes I randomly think to myself different things. Today I was having a monologue as to whether or not I am a single mother. As always Google is the right place to start by searching, “what is the meaning of a single parent?” there are many instances when people get to read my story or meet me and say, ayaa! So she is a single mother. Then today randomly after my afternoon nap *Mondays* it just dawned on me to write this.
So this is what Google had to offer:
a. a person who has a dependent child or dependent children and who is widowed, divorced, or unmarried.
b. A single mother is any woman that has children that she is caring for on a daily basis without help from another person.
Sometimes when a lady mentions she is a single mother she is looked at with sympathy, as if she may be having a terminal disease and can’t do anything about it. Yes, there are some who have gone through “hell” to be where they are and are probably still enduring the same so as to ensure that their baby or babies have the best in life so yes sometimes the empathy or sympathy makes sense.
On the other hand we have those people who proclaim how strong you are, destined for great things and you are a role model to them when you tell them you are a single parent. I guess they see past the waves in the sea that you have gone through and yet here you are standing tall, refusing to be affected by your past circumstance, choosing to make best of the future that is yet to come. So yes again they deserve the recognition.
But who really is a single parent or single mother?
To me it is that one person who is raising the child alone, el solo. No financial or emotional support from anyone. I am with Google on that one.
It is decided the next time someone asks if I am a single parent, my answer will be no.
This is why?
Ever since I got my baby and even before that I have had an enormous amount of support from my family and friends. ENORMOUS! Fit to say I am not doing this journey alone.
There are amazing male figures in my son’s life. My dad, my two brothers, one of my cousin who is younger than me but if you hear him talk to lil man about life and why him throwing tantrums and refusing to eat is such a bad gesture because the rest of us won’t starve if he doesn’t eat, he has to do it by himself and not even us who love him can chew the food and eat it for him, the same way in life something’s you have to do it yourself otherwise no one can and you are the only one to suffer. I am sure he doesn’t understand much of that but he always reacts positively. Solid words of advice i=on even how he should react towards his mother. Calvin tells him, no baba, you never hit your mother or any woman for that matter. It is very wrong, now apologize. The little guy then says sorry. I have amazing men to be honest who are teaching him what it takes to be a man, if there’s such a thing. Things even if I wanted to I wouldn’t really do well, not that I don’t believe in myself but yes, you get it.
The other day we went to the family washroom and I just stood there as he was being taught how to pee. Hahaha! Now I know someone is probably like, that is not a big deal fi. To me it is. Because there is a time when he wanted to pee he would squat. Ayayayaya! But fit to say we are on the right track.
So thank you for my peeps dad, brother, cousins, key male friends in baby’s life Leo. Miriti, Nthiani and Calvin.
The hospital visits I have been accompanied when I need to take baby to hospital.
Not to forget my lady peeps as well who are there for me all the time from my mother to my subhertz, to my lady buddies who are always there from emotional support and also just physically. especially my mother! :* Most amazing woman on earth!
To someone I may appear as a single parent because I don’t walk around with a diamond ring *yes husband I want a diamond ring 😀 * but I am not in my eyes, I am surrounded by unending and undying love around me as I raise this boy to be the future of this country and world.
Love and love.
God bless you!