I Am Not About To Keep Quiet Any Time Soon

This month the UN Women are focusing on the social, health and economic costs of violence against women around the world. Statistics has it that one in three women are being violated and more than 70percent of women have been violated in their life. Violence does not necessarily have to be physical it can take the form of physiological or sexual. You will be shocked to realize that the highest percentages of the people who actually instigate this are the ones who are close to the women especially the men who the ladies claim to love or rather love. Makes me question really what is the true meaning of love at the end of the day. I thought love was meant to be kind and gentle and peaceful? Violence goes beyond beatings. It also includes forced marriages, marital rape, forced pregnancies, forced abortion as well.

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Violence is one thing that confidently crosses every social, economic class, religion, race and ethnicity in the world. I love the quote, “A man who will treat his lady as a queen was raised by a queen himself”. Hence I look at it from the roots a good son, a good brother to his sisters, a good boyfriend, a good husband and finally a good father to his children especially his daughters who need him to show them how men should treat them and his sons as well to be shown how to treat a lady. The abusers of women tend to view violence as the best problem solving mechanism for them especially when it comes to family conflicts and if you dig deeper you will see that they have had violent tendencies or perhaps they grew up in a violent home where it was the top way to solve conflicts amongst themselves. A great number of them are actually abusers of drugs and alcohol and will use this as an excuse for their violent behaviors.

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I remember trying to style my braids in the best way to be able to hide the black eye, and even though it was quite hot outside I put on a sweater to hide the deep marks on my hand. At that point is when I felt the sharp pain again on my belly that reminded me that I had to go to hospital. The previous night I had tossed and turned trying to find the right position to sleep in, unsure of the damage that had been done and my friend kept on asking if I am okay, that must have been right after she had treated my hand wounds with an antiseptic. She had tried to console me for quite sometime before we finally decided to sleep but I was too worried to even pay attention to what she was telling me but finally I slept. I was going to head to hospital now and I just decided to assume this eye and if anyone asked I would say I had fallen down. Of course praying that they don’t want further details on how I fell for I wasn’t willing to share. So for now I will have to use that on any curious person I met on the way.

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As I walked to hospital, I said hey with my head bowed down and was amazed at how I even managed a smile to go hand in hand with the reply but deep down not a cell in me was smiling. The day seemed beautiful when I walked out of the hospital as I remembered the doctor telling me that all was well, the pain might just be caused by the shock but I should get ample rest and minimize work for a day or two. I know he did not buy my falling story but at least he helped me out. As I walked back to my friend’s house the question that ran through my mind was “How would someone comfortably kick the belly of a pregnant lady carrying YOUR unborn child? Is there an excuse really for such an act?”

I am yet to find one that will actually convince me. I could narrate the events that had happened the previous night but I choose not to awaken painful emotions that I had long laid to rest, just maybe I will be able to in “Dear Teko” which it just hit me I have not updated it in a while now. What is more important to me was the life that I had thought I would lose, now is almost one year in two weeks time. He laughs at the littlest of things, dances to all manner of music genres, talks for minutes on end about things and I clearly can not comprehend but I smile and laugh and Love because at the end he is my miracle and I thank the heavens for giving me this opportunity of having to see him, kiss him, bless him, provide for him, love him, cuddle him, I could go on and on. Above all I learnt that forgiveness is an essential weapon that we must all carry with us at all times, when we are faced with a tough situation, forgive. Forgive the situation, forgive the person, and forgive yourself as well.

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Now that I have chosen to speak up, am not about to keep quiet any time soon. As the executive director of UN women Phumzile Mlambo says “it is time to fulfill the promise to end violence against women.”

#OrangeYourWorldKenya

JOIN THE MOVEMENT!

[To be continued….]

 

 

 

  • Kinya Elizabeth

    OMG!!! Aren’t you like strongest girl/woman I have ever heard about!? I live in a family that violence features highly in solution of disputes. People just don’t understand that violence is not only physical. I have a very loving boyfriend that has really held me through being chased at dead of the night by my fathers beatings…(I din’t know if he would change in worse conditions) but despite him being goos for now, I am still unable to trust him fully even for now. I don’t know if someday He will treat me the way my dad treats my mum. Most men do not understand what pain their childrem go through when they assault their wives. I am so so proud of you for walking away.

    PS:After my cpa exams,I MUST meet you. This is a specific close subject to my heart.

    • Thank you Elizabeth. Do not think about it too much though but they say a person’s true character is exhibited when they are under stress or when things are going extremely wrong in their world. This among many other reasons was why I choose to walk my way, run my race. I have heard of stories that just scare me to death. wives being pulled on tarmacs face down, hospitalized and in worse cases DEATH, yet it only started with tolerating a slap, a blow or two. However I am not angered any more.

      I would LOVE to meet you too.

      Success in your papers! ACE them 🙂

      join the movement!

      ORANGEYOURWORLDKENYA

  • This is too deep Fiona.Really touched my heart

    • Thank you Nyawira. Join the movement! ORANGEYOURWORLDKENYA

  • Raquel Muigai

    I really admire your courage fi and to be honest the pieces i have read moved me. But i am proud of you and all the young mums who decide to face life brave despite all that is there in society. You have been an inspiration not only to me but to others. all the best dearie. Looking forward to more…. cant wait 🙂

    • Thank you Raquel, I am humbled. :,)

      Feel free to join the movement.

      ORANGEYOURWORLDKENYA.

  • Jackie Kinyanjui

    I sympathise every day with you fi foe that dreadful ordeal. But at the same time I thank God for giving u a strong heart nd the ability to forgive and move on. You are a blessing to every life you touch….truly u are. I really pray that God will intervene in the lives of the women who’ve been exposed to acts of violence nd He will give them the strength that they need to turn their experiences into stepping stones. Thank u dear for starting this movement. Ur courage to share this horrific ordeal is impeccable. 🙂

    • Desky,
      Thank you :,) you have left me speechless.
      All I can say is you are amazing for walking with me. I am not sure this is professional to write here, but I LOVE you.
      OK.bye.
      <3

  • Cathie

    Hi Fiona I’m really inspired by what you do..you are one bold girl I know…keep up with that spirit n together let’s orange our worldsu..

    • hey Cathie,

      Thank you so much! I will keep on keeping up for sure 🙂

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