This month the UN Women are focusing on the social, health and economic costs of violence against women around the world. Statistics has it that one in three women are being violated and more than 70percent of women have been violated in their life. Violence does not necessarily have to be physical it can take the form of physiological or sexual. You will be shocked to realize that the highest percentages of the people who actually instigate this are the ones who are close to the women especially the men who the ladies claim to love or rather love. Makes me question really what is the true meaning of love at the end of the day. I thought love was meant to be kind and gentle and peaceful? Violence goes beyond beatings. It also includes forced marriages, marital rape, forced pregnancies, forced abortion as well.
Violence is one thing that confidently crosses every social, economic class, religion, race and ethnicity in the world. I love the quote, “A man who will treat his lady as a queen was raised by a queen himself”. Hence I look at it from the roots a good son, a good brother to his sisters, a good boyfriend, a good husband and finally a good father to his children especially his daughters who need him to show them how men should treat them and his sons as well to be shown how to treat a lady. The abusers of women tend to view violence as the best problem solving mechanism for them especially when it comes to family conflicts and if you dig deeper you will see that they have had violent tendencies or perhaps they grew up in a violent home where it was the top way to solve conflicts amongst themselves. A great number of them are actually abusers of drugs and alcohol and will use this as an excuse for their violent behaviors.
I remember trying to style my braids in the best way to be able to hide the black eye, and even though it was quite hot outside I put on a sweater to hide the deep marks on my hand. At that point is when I felt the sharp pain again on my belly that reminded me that I had to go to hospital. The previous night I had tossed and turned trying to find the right position to sleep in, unsure of the damage that had been done and my friend kept on asking if I am okay, that must have been right after she had treated my hand wounds with an antiseptic. She had tried to console me for quite sometime before we finally decided to sleep but I was too worried to even pay attention to what she was telling me but finally I slept. I was going to head to hospital now and I just decided to assume this eye and if anyone asked I would say I had fallen down. Of course praying that they don’t want further details on how I fell for I wasn’t willing to share. So for now I will have to use that on any curious person I met on the way.
As I walked to hospital, I said hey with my head bowed down and was amazed at how I even managed a smile to go hand in hand with the reply but deep down not a cell in me was smiling. The day seemed beautiful when I walked out of the hospital as I remembered the doctor telling me that all was well, the pain might just be caused by the shock but I should get ample rest and minimize work for a day or two. I know he did not buy my falling story but at least he helped me out. As I walked back to my friend’s house the question that ran through my mind was “How would someone comfortably kick the belly of a pregnant lady carrying YOUR unborn child? Is there an excuse really for such an act?”
I am yet to find one that will actually convince me. I could narrate the events that had happened the previous night but I choose not to awaken painful emotions that I had long laid to rest, just maybe I will be able to in “Dear Teko” which it just hit me I have not updated it in a while now. What is more important to me was the life that I had thought I would lose, now is almost one year in two weeks time. He laughs at the littlest of things, dances to all manner of music genres, talks for minutes on end about things and I clearly can not comprehend but I smile and laugh and Love because at the end he is my miracle and I thank the heavens for giving me this opportunity of having to see him, kiss him, bless him, provide for him, love him, cuddle him, I could go on and on. Above all I learnt that forgiveness is an essential weapon that we must all carry with us at all times, when we are faced with a tough situation, forgive. Forgive the situation, forgive the person, and forgive yourself as well.
Now that I have chosen to speak up, am not about to keep quiet any time soon. As the executive director of UN women Phumzile Mlambo says “it is time to fulfill the promise to end violence against women.”
JOIN THE MOVEMENT![To be continued….]