This is part 3 of Esther Waruri’s story which began here.
I called her father hoping that he would run to bless his child perhaps, cuddle her, give her love even if for a moment but first he acted like he was unaware of who I was. All he said was he wanted to enjoy his life as he does not consider himself a father. His parents are still unaware that they have been blessed by a grandchild so angelic she makes your heart melt. Sadly mum had to go back but I was happy when the 8th of June she came back to celebrate Manuela’s dedication day with us. I have bumped into baby daddy once in a mall and he literally ran away from me but I forgive him. Something I learnt motherhood begins from the moment you start carrying your child in your womb and it changes your life in all your aspects. Starting from the pregnancy it sure is one of the best experiences to ever have.
First of all you grow up because it’s no longer about you it’s about another life that comes before you, sacrifices have to be made, important decisions have to be made, needs have to be attended to and your way of living also changes. But all you have to do is to embrace it with love, patience and most of all acceptances. I have had my share of challenges but I am glad I made it through. my daughter gives me strength to get through anything, she has made me realize how blessed i am to have her and to be her mum, to always appreciate life with all it ups and downs, to give thanks in everything and most of all she has given me so much joy. Everyday i wake up and stare at her and I just find myself smiling and I feel so at peace and I am grateful. I may not be perfect but whenIi look at my child I know that i got something in my life perfectly right. No words can explain the love I have for her. There is not a day that passes by that I do not thank God for having made the right decision and the courage to have stood up to my ex and refused to have aborted.
You are out there and maybe you opted to abort due to your own reasons and probably you regret each and every day, maybe it haunts you whenever you see someone’s child or anything that reminds you of your child, probably you feel guilty and think what if you did the right thing and kept the pregnancy? Well it may be hard but you cannot live in the past and the pain in your heart will end but in addition to that what I can say is that we have a God who lives and is a forgiving one. He is the only one who knows your pain; He can see how you struggle with the regret in your mind, heart and soul. He doesn’t judge but actually loves you so much. He doesn’t take you as the most sinful one because we all are sinful but because of His grace and mercies are sufficient He forgives us and takes us for who we are sand gives us another chance. most of all He loves us so much and all He wants is for you to turn to Him talk to him and open up to Him so that He can take way all your pain, suffering and sorrow. The other thing is to not do it again because we all learn through mistakes and that’s why we aren’t perfect give yourself and your baby a second chance and give him/her the right to live. Some of you may have unfortunately miscarriage but one thing I know is that time heals all wounds. It may seem like it may never happen but God is a faithful God and He will erase that pain one day at a time. Take one step a time, be patient with yourself darling and give yourself time to heal. Reach out to people you trust and talk about it because I believe sharing and opening up does help so much.
Lastly, unto the men out there who are somehow going to father a child? Do the right thing and be a real man. That is by being responsible for your actions and taking up responsibility for your own flesh and blood. Standing up and being there for your unborn child and the mother of your child makes you a real man.
For those ladies who seem to be going through the same thing and would love someone to walk with you, Mama Manuela is ready to do so as she is part of Amira Africa’s mama mentors.
Just drop us an email and we will get you in touch with her.
Run your race!!
P.S: I had to take photos with them before they left. 🙂