Being young parents we have a group of our friends who are not yet parents and sometimes, they tend to have these negative dreams for our children. What do I mean by negative dreams though? Once in a while I get to hear disturbing sentences such as “This will be my drinking buddy when he is 18years, you will be coming for him after we turnt up big time!” and others that I will not love to mention because they irritate me to the bone and my responses is always no, you await for your own blood and do that with him or her. At the back of my mind I ask myself would they love their children to be drop outs, drunkards, druggies, players etc. or just maybe due to the fact that they are not parents they do not understand, because the sentences they speak about your child will lead him to be a social misfit at the end of the day. Pray against such spirits of confusion and deception upon your child’s life. Which leads me to what I wanted to share about today, the power of a parent’s tongue on his child: the power to bless or curse, life and death are in the tongue. Therefore do not contribute to such conversations thinking that you are making a joke while you are attracting such negative things towards your child. Stick to the positive words, dreams and aspirations for your baby.
It is very important for you to protect your child from harsh words be it at school or from his nanny whom you leave him with everyday as you go to work or school because they will either lead to making or breaking his self esteem. You will often hear someone say words like, “nothing good can amount from you!” and these are words he is telling his child and when that child goes about his daily life he believes that because dad said so, then truly nothing good can come out of me so why bother anyway. In scenarios where a third party, say a teacher who keeps bringing down your son or daughter, then make sure when they come home you feed them with positive words such as: you are the best! You are beautiful! No one can sing like you! You will be the next Uhuru Kenyatta! So that they know even though Mr so and so thinks am useless, my own parents think I am the king of the jungle and I am the best and one day they are going to hear me roar!
If Daystar did not have this flexible system where they allow me to be in school only Monday to Wednesday, I wonder when I would spend ample time with baby. Life in general has become fast, where we have parents working from eight to five and in the evening they have classes which leads to them being home late in the evening and they are so tired they just go to bed straight. On weekends some mothers have ‘chamas’ to go to and on Sunday afternoon is when probably they get time to spend an hour or so to talk to their children. It is VERY important that your presence is in your baby’s life. Extremely important that you spend time with them, do homework with them. It is not only a matter of providing for them financially. You have to connect with them, if anything is a miss then they can be able to talk to you about it or you can be able to notice it very fast. By this you also know your children well, what they love, dislike, who their friends are etc.
I believe with all my heart that we have more than enough time for the people we treasure and value. Therefore if you find that you do not have the time for them then be certain that you do not value the relationship you have with them, you are lying to yourself. You will always find time for everything that means the world to you, plenty of time.
That is why sometimes ladies will tell me that the man sends love to his baby occasionally yet he neither provides nor creates time to come see the baby. Now I don’t know about you but to me that is not love. But I advice you not to hate them even though and if the pass their love to their young ones, just say you will pass the love and leave it there.
Just like faith without actions is dead, therefore love without deeds is false rumors.
Train your child in the way he should go. A lot of us parents want to train our children through words, telling them to do this, not to do that and yet we do the complete opposite. Often children will imitate what their elders are doing, therefore the best way to teach your child is by living out what we would want them to emulate. Children are the best sponges, they just absorb and absorb. True testimony: sometimes my son takes the phone and talks (gibberish of course) and starts smiling and laughing, it is hilarious and I have no idea who he has copied this from.
Believe in your child and also acknowledge your child’s strengths. Every child is different and what another child may do best does not necessarily mean that your baby will do it as well and if it is a must for them to do it. I remember all the children who were born after Chiiwo had grown teeth and here he was eleven months not even a sign and I wondered whether there was anything wrong with his bone structure, so I googled all the reasons why children do not teeth early. Google sometimes has a way of creating mountains out of nowhere and so I was very worried but a week to his birthday, out popped out his, teeth all four of them. So refrain from comparing your child with another and just focus on what he is good in and believe in the beauty of their dreams with them.
Never force your dreams on your child, I have heard of parents who wanted to become doctors and were not able then want their children to be doctors as well, listen to them and get to know what they want to do and walk with them in that journey. This also comes with empathy, if you placed yourself in your child’s shoes would you want to live the life of someone else all your life thus leading to you giving up on your true self? I am sure you would not want that. Therefore even as we require certain things of our children we should always empathize with them.
Dorothy law Nolte once wrote:
If a child lives with critiscm, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns violence.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with security, he learns faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to love the world.
My question is, what environment is your angel living in?
Kiss the lovely one for me :*