Hey! How is the going? Well I have been so busy of late trying to do a lot of school work here and there and today I just felt like putting up three posts to cover for the time I was missing in action and this is my last and third post for the day.
…but wait!!!!…. before I talk about that, well in a few weeks I would have been going to Philadelphia for the FORBES UNDER 30 SUMMIT *screaaam!!* 🙂 🙂 🙂 however saw the email too late and it is in two weeks’ time which would not have been enough for me to get a visa and go however something I have learned is that there are numerous opportunities for young people around the world all you have to do is be prepared to walk into them and p.s you can always be doing research on the net to find what works for you. So go ahead surprise yourself from now on, you never know. Wait!.. Maybe I should turn that into a separate blog post and tell you how everything went down and what is going on now…… *I will just stop there* see, life begins after you get a baby, just look on the bright side of it. Steam!! Steam!! Panda!! 😀
Yes.. sooo… things you should not tell a single mother.
I feel so bad for you.. why are you feeling bad for me? I am not complaining or am I?, so please do not tell single mothers that you feel bad for them. There are very many reasons that lead to one becoming a single mother and the least she needs from you is pity.
Children need their fathers as their role models especially boys and now he is growing up without a role model. Truth is, it is amazing for the biological dad to be there, after all that is his Godly right but if there are circumstances that will hinder this then grandparents, uncles do a remarkable job for sure.
How can you allow your son to see his father after what he made you go through? The other day I shared with someone that it is your God given right to be there for your child just like I said above, I do not believe that another male should take up the title and be called ‘baba’ unless in circumstances where it is extremely hard and the father has refused responsibilities then there someone can take the babaright from him because at the end of the day who is a parent? From time and again I have told mothers do not let your relationship with the father affect his relationship with his child, if he wants to be there let him be there for his champ as well, after all blood is thicker than water and you are the water in this sense, hehe. However do note that only if he is responsible and will not be a bad example to the child. Sawa?
You should start dating. One can be alone and not lonely let me make that clear. I feel it is too much pressure for someone to constantly remind a single mother whose not dating that she should be with someone. Her status her choice, when she is ready she will go back in the game just do not remind her several times. A close friend of mine who has a baby always tells me how the ‘bae bus left her, hahaha and we laugh about it but yes she is ready to date now, for her one can tell her severally.
Get someone to take care of the baby so we hang out. You see the way my priorities are set, I would rather spend time with the littu human. However if it is during the day and the place is child friendly we are on our way, he is my hand bag.
Do you know about birth control methods? I can’t believe I am about to compare the two. Anyway, here goes. You see the way we all know junk foods are bad for our health and we still sit down and eat junk every day, all day. It is the same thing, we are aware that we need to use protection in order not to get pregnant but somehow we just end up not for various reasons so my advice for you is team abstinence!
Is your child’s father in the picture? I understand that people who ask this are generally concerned or sometimes they just want to know if they are there or not but sometimes I feel this question is asked one to many times. If the mother is willing she will tell you. Every time I bring up the fact that I have an almost two year old human somewhere I am met with this question. My response is always.. Well.. people make choices they will not be proud of years to come for if I say yes or no I realized there are numerous sentences that will follow that I do not want to lend my ears to and this always makes the conversation end there and then and I follow it with “Do you love Spiderman?”
How do you afford everything? Being a single mother and all. There is a verse I love from the Bible, tried to look for it but could not find it and it talks about how the Lord provides for the birds in the air and therefore we as humans should not be worried about tomorrow. Someway, somehow everything works out for us.
Oh my! It must be hard to find someone who will date you with a baby don’t you think? Well my opinion based on what someone told me a while back is this, if a man loves you he will take you as you are and with whom you come with. The only thing that can prevent someone from being with you is if they do not like your personality and who you are as a human being because they see that you are not compatible but not because you came with someone else’s baby.
Did you try to make it work between you both? Trust me, for me having children with different dads was never an option just like being a single parent but sometimes in life when you are not on the same page with someone, you exit or if you try everything and it is not working remember the wellbeing of the baby is the most important and you must ensure that is your priority.
Did you consider an abortion? I would have had one if I was in the same position. I do not judge people who are prochoice because I know I would have easily been a victim of abortion because there are so many reasons as to why people carry out an abortion but please do not question my pro life beliefs. The mere fact of seeing my baby grow and glow everyday even though he loves pouring sand on my colored trousers, I love him oh so very much and if I could go back in time, I would choose him to live over and over again. You should hear him sing amazing grace, cutest thang ever!! *sigh* 🙂 🙂
You should date a single dad. Uhmm.. okay.. yes I should, lol.
I saw this quote the other day; your family legacy is determined by the actions you take today. I do not remember who wrote it though but think about it.
Have you said any of these things to a single mom before? Don’t be ashamed, let us know in the comment section what you said.
I will be writing a post on whether or not to include the father’s name in the birth certificate soon, please do share your thoughts on that before I do so I gather your sentiments on this specific topic.
Thank You for stopping by.
Love Fi <3
Also read things not to tell a new mother.
photo credits: Google 🙂